Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
