But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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