Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Never underestimate the power of titties
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