watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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