just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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