No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
