9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
