were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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