I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
