Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
