Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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