We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
