I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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