you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
