Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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