My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
