uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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