he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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