I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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