Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
