Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
