You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
