Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
