just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize