I wish life had little blips of pornography
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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