I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
