so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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