I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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