So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
