Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
