You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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