that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
