another moral hangover. fuck.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
