True but thats because hes a fetus.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
