Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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