so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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