I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize