belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
