i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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