This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I will pee on everything he values.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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