fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
