you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
