and she was petting her beer can
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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