if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
