five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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