no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im holly from the hills drunk
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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