Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
