So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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