U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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