should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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