That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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