I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
