So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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