oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
