You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
