drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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