Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
