I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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