Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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