Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
